Wednesday, 4 August 2010

Its time to light the middle.

"My candle burns at both ends, It will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends -
It gives a lovely light." ~ Edna St. Vincent Millay

So sooner or later, I figured there would be a collision between real life and sailing on this blog. Most sailors find themselves interpreting one through the other anyhow, and that collision made itself pretty clear back in the winter with my Changes post.

Here is what is going on right about now. We are navigating confused seas. The wind is blowing in from the east while the current is heading west. This is piling up waves that are hard to manage. At the same time, percussion waves are rebounding off the shores and tossing the boat about. I am working the tiller hard while striving to keep wind in the sails and not get pulled back by an 8 knot current in a 4 knot boat. And I'm not giving up and turning around, 'cause the easy way isn't always the best.

In the past there have been a couple choices I made that were right if for no other reason than because I made a choice. Changing Careers, staying in Brantford, Changing relationships, leaving Brantford and having kids are among those choices. Conscious control carries a reward of confidence and surety that going with the flow cannot offer. I made a choice like that back in December, and now I am working through its outfall. The choice was to leave a great employer and to stretch through new challenges. I left to work for the city, and then in short order leveraged that position for another with a third employer, where I am now.

All this change has resulted in a house of cards effect that hasn't stopped since. SWMBO has been recruited to come and work with me at the new job. Buddy is changing childcare to be closer to us while we are at work. We are also expecting a third kid. Chuck is discovering boys and independance. We will be selling the house (I L-O-V-E that house) and moving in the next year. I have a forced timeline to complete a series of renovations and projects that are only half started. Iris will either move this fall or next to Lake Ontario. On top of all that our chickens (yes, we have chickens) are getting to an increased demand stage as they mature enough to start laying.

Are we busy? Yeah. Just a little. Its a no-nonsense time right now. Too much to do and not enough time, or energy, or desire to do it all. I face my list at home, and know that getting stuff done means selling the house (I L-O-V-E that house) and that doesn't sound appealing. Hard to get your spirits up for something like that.

But you know, if I don't man-up and get going on all this, then the waves and currents and winds are going to push me wherever they please, and the decision I made in the first place just won't matter anymore.

So what is it? Tack? Gybe? Hold course? As I said to Jamie not so long ago, it doesn't matter much how that candle is burning out at the ends; its time to light the middle, or as Uncle Vince would say, "git'er done."

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